Pluto has been squaring my natal Venus and Mercury in Aries since the beginning of 2020. Starting in January of 2021, the Underworld planet has also been wrapping its dark tendrils around my natal Mars in Cancer. The most personal areas of my life (identity, communication, relationships) are undergoing a profound and continuous death & rebirth experience. Every day. The intent of this initiation: dismember to remember. Remember why I am here. Release whatever stands in the way of that.
The real reason why I'm here is often different than why I think I'm here. And sometimes, it ends up being the same, with just a slight shift in perspective. The vision is a trickster that way. It shows you something amazing, grabs your attention and leads you toward a destination. But that doesn't mean that the destination it shows you is where you're bound to end up. The purpose of the vision was just to get you moving. Now that it has you on the path, you've got to be willing to adapt to changes as they come, rather than stay rigidly attached to that idea of where you thought you were supposed to be going.
That's what the vision has been teaching me: how to courageously walk along a destination-less path, knowing that I will never reach the end, because there is no end. Only endless opportunities for more and more experiences.
I'm sure this all sounds super inspiring, but let's be honest. With the heaviness of Pluto on me, I've been spending a lot of time in my cocoon (i.e. my bed). Allowing myself to sink quietly and deeply into the dreaming space has been very healing for me. And yet, there is a poison side to this medicine when I over-use it and it becomes an escape from being present in my waking life. Sinking that deep into the watery realm, I run the risk of extinguishing my fire completely, and then it becomes a monumental feat to summon the energy to tend to even the most basic tasks related to my sacred work.
In that uncomfortable space, where the tension between opposites feels like it is going to pull me apart, that is where the alchemy happens.
The medicine that is being birthed within me is about allowing things to unfold in their own natural timing. No more stressing to get to a certain place by a certain time. This is a whole new landscape for a Type-A planner & perfectionist like me! What I've been learning is that by going slow and being present, I might get half as much done, but that half is FULL of the presence of Spirit, so it is so much more satisfying and soul-nourishing than rushing frantically from task to task. What I'm stepping into feels like a world where time doesn't exist. Things get done when they get done and not a moment before. And they always seem to get done at exactly the right time.
The older I get the more I understand that self care to maintain my mental health is my most important job. It is the foundation for everything else I do. And, as any HSP knows, it is a full time job in and of itself.
With that in mind, I have an announcement.
P.S. I'm really nervous about telling you this…
I have been feeling a big shift in regards to the Spiral Path Book of Days. The new vision is here, but the energy to birth it is not. I have been LOVING the visioning phase, but when it comes time to sit down and take the actual steps to bring it into form, I'm just not feeling it.
Usually that means it's not time, or there is something else I need to allow myself to experience that will provide the ingredient I need to make it manifest. And without that, it won't be what I know it can be.
Spirit is asking me to take the risk of letting this project go. I see it going back into the ground, where it can enter a fallow period in which no sign of growth will be visible on the surface, as the energy for its new life is gathered from the depths of the earth.
I need to return to my creative roots: playful experimentation without concern for outcome. That's the energy that is going to birth the new book (and a multitude of other creations). I am being asked to free myself from ALL deadline pressure, so I can feel and be and listen, knowing that I will be guided toward what comes next, without attachments to a past sense of purpose.
I first got the nudge to put the book to rest last year, but I didn't listen. Why? Because it didn't make sense to my thinking brain. I had finally reached a point where maintaining the project was fairly easy, so why not just continue? When the mistake with the dates happened, I knew it was a sign that my heart wasn't fully invested in this project anymore, and to continue from that place would be a great disservice, not only to myself, but to those of you who love the book.
It feels scary to press pause on an income stream that I have spent the last few years establishing. But the old version is no longer serving me and the only way the new incarnation will be born is if I put the old one to rest, completely, and let it return to the creative void to be reborn in its own time.
So, I am saying YES to this inspired action even though it feels very scary to my people-pleaser. I know that my soul is craving some time to just BE without having a deadline looming in the future, taking up psychic space. I know that ultimately, this break is in service to the overall vision of the book. It will give me the opportunity to walk my talk about living in alignment with the cycles of the seasons, including the seasons in my own body.
Be wild & make your magic, 🧙♀️✨
Amy