To listen to this newsletter in audio format, click here.
I've been feeling like the written word is no longer adequate to express the depth of what I am feeling and experiencing on so many levels, all at once.
(By the way, have you seen the movie, Everything Everywhere All At Once? This is the closest I have seen any form of media get to showing what it is like to live in multiple realities simultaneously. Marvel movies have come close, but this is next level. I am thrilled that understanding of the Multiverse is going mainstream. Now I don't have to describe it. I can just point to a movie and say, “watch this.”)
After so many years spent intensely focused on writing my memoir, and having that take up such a huge chunk of psychic space within me, I am now feeling pretty burnt out on writing.
So instead of journaling, I've started experimenting with making voice recordings. I shared some with friends and their feedback gave me the idea to start a podcast. That was over a year ago, and the idea has been percolating in my brain ever since.
Capricorn Venus Cycle: Gathering the Medicine
For the last 19 months, as the Capricorn Venus cycle unfolded, I was in such a slow, deep process of experiencing what it means to connect to the wisdom of the earth in my body that it was difficult to surface into the realm of expression. I was feeling called to quietly gather my medicine and heal myself, out of the public eye. I made my social media accounts private and stopped pressuring myself to engage online. It just got so damn stressful to think about what to post, how much, how often, finding the right hashtags, and all that. I realized that I wasn't living my life because I was constantly thinking about how to perfect my “brand” and promote it. My first inclination when receiving communication from Spirit was not to receive it for myself, but to package it into “content” and share it. My wisdom told me that there would come a time to be seen, but this was not that time.
Capricorn Venus Cycle collage
Saturn in Pisces: Refining the Foundation
With Saturn in Pisces, transiting my 4th house of Home and Roots, my responsibility towards my family of origin has increased, as both my parents have been experiencing upheaval in their lives and needing support. This has required me to strengthen my inner foundations. Here are some excerpts from a longer blog post I wrote about this transit:
“…it calls for a gentle softening of long-held patterns and rigid structures, specifically related to my family of origin, lineage, and my home environment. It shows me that “home” is not bound to a single structure. As this transit progresses, I see myself settling into a profound feeling of being at home with myself, wherever I am. Home is an inner sanctum that is always supporting me and never erodes.
I am learning to hear the calls from home, beckoning me to return to my source to replenish myself. To rehydrate my thirsty body, to bust through the dams that have stagnated my creative flow. To soften the restrictions in my body, mind, and psyche to allow Spirit to pour itself into me, like crystal clear water into a glass of mud. Let the pain that has been frozen in time start to thaw and flow. Feel my feelings rise to the surface and spill out until I am clean of the residue of past trauma.
I am practicing how to keep myself safe from toxic patterns embedded in my lineage and navigate family dynamics in a way that is healthy for me. I am prioritizing my healing so I can be a healing presence in my family, and beyond. Knowing what I can give without depleting myself and expressing these boundaries with kind assertiveness. Only saying yes when I want to say yes keeps me from repeating patterns of over-giving and resentment and makes me more available for genuine heart connections.”
Leo Venus Cycle: Sacred Storytelling
On August 19th, the Leo Venus cycle began. My wisdom tells me that over these next 19 months I will be encouraged to release my resistance to being seen, so my full authentic self can shine in the world. This starts with being seen in my creative process. So as Venus rises as a morning star, I am rising and stepping into this new level of self expression.
I'm still not ready to launch a full podcast, but I'm ready to take the first baby steps in that direction by sharing some of my voice recordings and more “behind-the-scenes” pictures and stories of my creative process. These will be posted on my Buy Me a Coffee page. Most of the content I post there will be free and will not require a membership. Some of the more vulnerable content (such as raw voice recordings in which I'm processing deep emotional shit) will be available to members only, because I need the safety of knowing who is holding that space with me. Edited transcripts of voice recordings will be accessible to all.
I've titled this series Field Notes from the Wild Within. It will be less polished than my newsletters, more raw and wild. Thought fragments captured in spoken and written form. Bullet points without a clear narrative arc. Focusing on the essence, rather than the context, will allow me to share my medicine stories as they happen, while still protecting the privacy of myself and others.
I’m embracing the messiness of this process and trusting the form in the chaos. I will let the fragments speak for themselves and not force them to make sense before they’re ready. This feels like a huge departure from my previous blogging style, and I’m excited to see how this evolves over time.
The beauty of this format is simplicity and spaciousness, releasing me from the stress of pumping out exceptional content on a deadline. Writing becomes a burden when I’m just not feeling it, and I love this work too much to start hating it. So, I'll aim to post regularly*, but I make no guarantees.
(* to align with my cyclical nature, they will be posted during the waning moon phase, sometime between Disseminating & Last Quarter. My other series, “Mad Sage Speaks” will be posted near the Dark Moon)
Subjects I'll be talking about include:
Living in season
Unraveling societal conditioning
Dismantling internalized capitalist patriarchy and the cultural mindset of endless production
My relationship with Time and my experiences moving in and out of linear time.
Neurodivergence (specifically AuDHD)
Astrology & Human Design
Stories of how I am learning to live in this world as my true self, Spirit in matter, a multiverse walking around in human form.
Expect to see a good mix of serious shadow work and tongue-in-cheek comic relief. The first audio recording is available to the public. It is about the tension in my body being what holds me together and my thoughts on what would happen if I begin to release that tension. It is called “Dissolve”
Be wild & make your magic! 🧙♀️✨ Amy